This place of discontentment, where eyes are clouded by what could be, at times, the inner critic telling us what should be, but rarely content with what is.
I see kindness, I desire a little more edge.
I see edge, I desire a little more kindness.
We see this in relationships all the time; too much, too little, too nice, too cold, too overbearing, too detached -- Compared to what?
At what point will you be satisfied with what is?
Choose to become more attuned to the present moment, to what is.
It is all a matter of perspective.
The thoughts you focus on shape your reality,
Your reality is reinforced by the words you speak.
These words and thoughts create stories, which determines your self image, and your overall mindset; a fixed mindset or growth mindset.
Going back to perspective, choose to practice gratitude for what is, no longer what should be, which only distracts us from acknowledging where we are already blessed. To truly witness the beauty in the present moment, we must detach from the outcome, release expectations and remain open to the opportunities that are present in each moment.
Be the change you wish the see in the world. Be a change-agent.
Less reacting, less words. Words only make up 7% of communication.
Before you speak, tune in, energy has the power to shift, shape and transform communication.
Connect to your energy source before you speak, feel before you act, act so you can grow, grow so you can learn, learn so you can know.
Know that true wisdom is birthed from a deepening embodiment of that which is closest to absolute truth.
Say less to say more.
Not only is this proven in public speaking workshops, where it is often emphasised, to have a strong open, a strong close and no more than 3-4 key points, because that's all that people remember, but I experience this in every day life.
Being an observer, remaining silent, active listening does not mean you are less intelligent, less informed or weak, rather allows you to fully receive what the speaker is saying, without an agenda, without reacting, instead learning.
If you listen you will learn, you will grow and you will develop far more than someone who is trying to fill the space with their voice, pushing their views, stuck in their ways or trying to win at all costs. "If you think you know everything, you are not listening"- Marsha Johnson Evans.
Some argue that by the time we reach our mid 30's our personality is largely a collection of memorised thoughts, beliefs, attitudes... If this is true, I want to learn as much as I can, I want to maintain a growth mindset, a beginners mind, learning from all sources, people, and life experiences. To do this, you need to get comfortable in the NOT knowing, in NOT always filling the space.
In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear. --Mark Nepo
I am split
Not in two, nor three, or four
But in shards
Untraceable to the human eye
You cannot cheat time
Like splinters that once clung onto bruised skin
Soon come to surface, like slithers of truth.
I want to love
To see you as you are, without projections.
Trace my fingers along your body, reaching your shadow
Until it dissolves into light
All this longing leaves me restless
Is this fantasy? Is this love?
At this point, I don't know the difference.
You are either experiencing life through the lens of suffering or the lens of beauty.
Suffering: stress, overthinking, victim mentality, fixed mindset.
Beauty: gratitude, mindfulness, growth mindset, empowered, flow.
Decide. It may sound simple, but think about all the changes you made in your life. They also started with a decision to change. I believe one of the most important decisions when deciding to upgrade your perception of the world around you is deciding to spend time with people who ALSO choose to see the world through the lens of beauty, not suffering.
For some of us, it is the fear of uncertainty that guides our decisions, eventually limits us and creates suffering. While it is true that you can't control what is going to happen to your loved ones, whether you get laid off, whether or not people like you, the country you are born in, who you parents are, what happened in your past... YOU CAN control how you choose the meaning you assign to these parts of life.
The most important decision you can make is to end suffering, practice non-attachment and adopt a growth mindset. It doesn't mean that you won't feel the more uncomfortable emotions of sadness, grief, anger, shame, jealousy...
It DOES mean that you will no longer be attached to the outcomes, release expectations, become more resilient and create space between you and your emotions, becoming an observer, becoming intimate with all the parts of you and choosing what meaning you assign to those parts, without getting lost in your mental story and internal dialogue. From this spaciousness, you may find you have access to deeper love, compassion and understanding of yourself and others, so you can shift the focus solely on yourself, and your "story" and give beyond yourself.
Suffering comes from excessive NARROW focus on self -> shift the focus: BROAD and expansive focus on the beauty in the ordinary.
I'm sure we have all heard this before, and I will say it again, gratitude is a magnet for miracles. From a space of gratitude, we are more receptive to our internal guidance, rather than fight/flight response. It is this true, calm, inner guidance that we can rely on.
Next time you find yourself needing to make an important decision and you feel the flight/fight response kick into gear, take some deep breaths, think of 3 things you are grateful for and ask yourself...
In this situation/decision/challenge I am presented with..
ALL I need to do is______
ALL I need to focus on is ______
ALL I need to remember is _______
ALL I need to believe is ______
See what answers spontaneously arise.
If your mind is still focusing on all the things that could possibly go wrong, all the what-ifs, ask yourself; "Is this true?".
Say silently to yourself, "I choose to focus on only what is true".
Knowing harmonious thoughts (such as positive thinking) are closer to absolute truth than unharmonious thoughts (such as negative thinking/catastrophising), then it only makes sense to choose to see the world through the lens of beauty if we are committed to the path of what is true.
WHY do we think we need to be complimented on our bodies to be deemed worthy?
Are our bodies not already incredible?
Are our bodies not incredible through our ability to experience the subtleties of sensation?
Through our ability to move and exercise?
Through our ability to hold ourselves, hold another?
To transfer energy to and between another human being!
Are our bodies not enough without a gap between our thighs, a butt that catches the eyes, a stomach that doesn't bloat, skin that is flawless?
Are our bodies not enough to have a stomach + gut that assimilates nutrients + feeds life into our being without having abs?!
Are our physical features not enough to be able to witness the beauty of life, to see ourselves, as we are?
Are our bodies only enough when we internalize societal beauty standards + dedicate a large portion of mental energy/time trying to attain this?!
Are our bodies not enough as they are?
I would like to think they are.
I would like to think I can love my body, celebrate it, its beauty, its strength, its miracle nature without needing another to validate this.
Our bodies are AMAZING! We don't need external validation to realize that.
Look how we are created!
Instead of striving to receive external validation, let us tune in with our bodies to embrace life + reconnect with our bodies innate intelligence.
Move in a way you desire to move,
Love in a way you desire to love,
Touch in a way you desire to touch,
Receive in a way you are open to receiving,
Feel, connect, deepen that bond, hold space and be in your entirety.
Part of living is journeying back to our wholeness.
Choose to love that journey.